I loved this video! There is a lot of different information that ends in talking about conscious parenting.
First we learn about how our body works on the cellular level. Bruce Lipton makes it very easy to understand. He says we are not a single entity, but we are a community of cells. When talking about health and disease, we are talking about the politics of how the cells in the community are getting along or not getting along.
He talks about how our emotions and symptoms are how we can evaluate our bodies performance. Your emotions and symptoms are trying to get your attention in case you need to change something that you are doing. If we take away these symptoms, like with drugs, then we are taking away our gauge that lets us know what is going on with our body.
When we have an interaction with something in our environment, we look at whether it supports life and growth or whether it threatens it and causes a protection response. If you are in a protection response, if you didn't use all your energy for this, you would have more energy for growth. When you are in protection mode, you can not be also in growth mode because your cells cannot move in 2 directions at once. Fear actually shuts off growth. This brought to mind when a baby is left to cry-it-out and when they are in this heightened level of stress, their little bodies are not going to be growing. Also, high stress shuts off the immune system and we can get sick faster.
He then talks about how up to the age of 6, kids are just taking information into their subconscious mind. Everything we do as parents is recorded and learned by them without us even trying. How we parent our children is how they will parent their children because they will just replay behaviors that they have learned. Anytime we are not consciously choosing behaviors around our children, our old subconscious learned behaviors begin to play out.
Attempting to live more consciously might help, but finding ways to reprogram our old subconscious behaviors would be the main way around this. In the video he does not get into how to go about reprogramming our subconscious.
He touches on evolution very briefly but doesn't really press the point so it is easy to ignore this part if you do not agree.
This is a long video presentation of around 2 hrs (12 parts) but you really need to watch the whole thing to be able to put all the pieces together. It will be well worth your time. If you have a slower computer, if you click on more than one video at a time, you can hit pause and allow it to download while you watch the one before it.
My 6 year old son has a problem where he cannot go anywhere in the house or outside unless someone is with him. This has been going on for several years and he has just not been able to get over it. Lately, thinking that I needed to fix him, I tried several things that others suggested to me. I didn't like either suggestion but felt like I needed to try something.
First I tried the monster spray, where I put water and some scent into a spray bottle to be used to spray the room where the monster might be and that was to keep it away. Next I tried the protector stuffed animal. I just found a stuffed animal that he had never seen before and told him it was a protector and that he could take it with him anywhere in the house and it would protect him. None of these things helped.
Then one day I was really frustrated that he wouldn't go into the bathroom by himself and I said that I would let him get something to eat at the movies when we went the next day, if he would go in the bathroom by himself. Somehow, he was able to turn off the fear and go in alone. I tried something similar on a few other occasions and it also seemed to work.
I didn't want to have to keep coming up with bribes for him so I came up with a tally system where he could put a mark down each time he was scared and was able to go anyway. He could get a small toy for 50 marks or forgo that for a larger toy at 100 marks. It seemed to work well, but a reward system goes against the way I really want to do things so I decided to consult my local online attachment parenting group and see what they thought about all this.
Right off the bat I noticed that others had children with a similar type problem, though maybe not quite so extreme. Some said my system seemed good since it was putting this in his hands by allowing him to do the tallying and having him be in control. But another mom commented on how rewards systems do not really work long term since they don't really get to the core of the problem. You can check out Alfie Kohn and his book Unconditional Parenting for more information on this.
I tried to say this was a bit different because it seemed like this was a mess up in his brain. But it was pointed out that this is just who he is right now and that he was not broken and did not need fixing. He needed my unconditional support. It is okay that he wants to be around others when he moves through life. Why is this a problem? And to stop viewing him as broken. This tugged at my heartstrings which means I knew she was right. I finally understood that I was not being supportive of his needs.
I have since decided that there is nothing wrong with my son. If he wants to have someone with him when he goes places, then that is what he wants/needs. I talked with him and let him know that there are other kids just like him out there that also like to have someone with them when they go places and that it is okay and there is nothing wrong with this. I do hope that someday he will be able to go places in the house by himself, but until then, he will have my unconditional support.
Of course, he was not happy about not continuing with the tally sheet because he wanted that toy. Not sure how I will remedy that one, lol.